We are very powerful creators of our lives and as I mentioned in "Trust Part 1", belief and love in ourselves is essential if we truly want to become who we came here to be.
We can have, be and do anything that we put our mind and heart to, however over the years I came to understand that the best way to create my life is by listening to my heart and trusting Source to guide me, which means letting go of the control knowing that whatever happens is always for the best. We are always guided, but we need to stay in our hearts in order to perceive it.
We all experienced situations when we wanted something badly and when it didn’t transpire, we felt disappointed only to find out later that it all happened just in the right way for us. We as human beings cannot see all the possibilities, all the avenues and all the consequences of our actions. We might think that wanting to go certain way, desiring to be with a certain person, going after a particular job and so on, is the right direction and we often blindly follow our desires not paying attention to messages, insights and warnings that come from our Truth. We learn through mistakes, there is nothing wrong with that at all, however some of us might always remain blind to the everlasting loving guidance that comes from inside.
I used to have my week, month and a year planned. I thought that planning, striving and forcing were a sure path to success, however, slowly did I come to realise that knowing, loving and believing in myself, surrendering to Source’s guidance and listening to my heart is the right way forward.
Especially recently it became more and more apparent to me that there is a greater plan for me and my life. Yes, I have a free will, but there are also certain things I agreed to before coming here. My soul programmed me for particular experiences that are essential for my growth and evolution. I noticed many times that whenever I wanted to go against what I needed to experience and learn from, whenever I was trying to go in a different direction that was desirable for my evolution, often after a lot of pain and sorrow, I was always brought back to where I was to be.
I spent many years trying to have another child. It wasn’t apparent to me from the beginning but at some point I realised that the road I chose was a long and painful way of me slowly trusting the Truth in me. My first son was conceived the first time we tried, but then when we wanted another baby, despite the best efforts, things didn’t go according to my plan. I so badly wanted to be a mum again, to start with a clean slate, to do it better this time, but a lot of my yearning had its roots in a limiting belief of mine of not being enough. I learnt the hard way to trust Source and listen to my heart. Just like my first son was meant to be, the second child at that time was not. I am not writing it with sadness, anger or disappointment as I can clearly see now that I have always been guided in the best way for me. If I had listened to the guidance, I would have saved myself years of sorrow and pain, but that was my way of trusting, of letting go, of growing and evolving. I do not regret anything in my life, not a single thing as it has all made me who I am today. This is of course my experience and in no way it means that yours would be the same. We are all special, we all came here on purpose and our experiences are unique to us, to our journey and our growth.
For years I looked for my purpose and it is clear to me now that love is why I am here. For most of my life I was totally obsessed about finding unconditional love, I simply knew that there was a force that didn’t judge, punish or blame but loved everybody and everything, always without any exceptions. At first what felt to me like ages, I looked for it outside of me and then I finally found it in me. The love that is in us, that is us, is pure, unconditional and everlasting. Everything is made out of love. When I try to put into words what I feel about who we really are, about our Truth, nothing really comes close. It just feels so familiar, it brings me so much peace and happiness and it simply wouldn’t make sense if it was to be any other way. Love is everything and everywhere and I am so very grateful for all the guidance, love and protection given me every day.
I have always wanted to be a kinder, more patient person, to feel peace inside and then to also love myself and see love in everybody and everything. When I look at my childhood, where I decided to be born, which families I chose, the amount of abuse, aggression, fear, guilt, blame and judgment, I can’t help now but to feel proud of myself, of all the work I have done and still do every day, of the courage, willingness and perseverance to go against my own extreme fear and anger, against everything and everybody in my life, to dare to be different despite all the mockery, accusations and even threats. I am not trying to even imply that I have achieved it all, as that is not the aim and is not possible anyway. We constantly learn and evolve and will always continue to do so. I believe however, that it is vital to take notice of how much we have grown, how hard we have worked and to truly love ourselves for that.
We tend to be far too hard on ourselves forgetting where we used to be, where in fact we should celebrate ourselves, how much we have achieved, who we truly are and fully enjoy every day wanting to live it in the best possible way, being true to ourselves, trusting Source and staying in our hearts.
Love, trust and gratitude are the answer 💜
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